How would you describe feelings to someone who did not know what they were?
I asked this question last week – and although many people viewed the question, I received ZERO responses to the question.
I’m going to assume this means a lot of people are unsure how to answer this question. Which is understandable. We live in a society where productivity is prioritized and feelings often are expected to be pushed under the rug. Keeping busy as a distraction from feeling our feelings is a very common avoidance technique these days.
But feelings aren’t just random nuisances to be pushed aside. I like to describe feelings as messengers or signals from our bodies. Feelings are our body’s way of communicating with us.
Let’s take hunger for example. We’ve all experienced the sensations of being hungry before. How do you know you’re feeling hungry? For me – the first sign is usually my stomach rumbling and making all those weird noises. If I don’t meet that need by eating, the bodily sensations get more intense – now my stomach feels painful, I may start to get a headache, or my hands may start shaking.
The same thing goes for other emotions like happiness, sadness, or anger. How do you know what you’re feeling? You may not have thought about it before – but I guarantee there are bodily sensations you can associate with each emotion. This is how we differentiate between different feelings.
And these feelings are not random. Your brain is constantly responding to the environment around you. If you notice yourself feeling anxious – your brain and body are telling you that something is keeping you from feeling safe right now – be it uncertainty about an upcoming event or a person nearby who you do not feel safe around. If you are feeling angry, your brain/body may be telling you that your boundaries have been violated or you feel helpless about something. If you’re feeling apathetic about something that you previously cared a lot about – this may be your brain’s way of telling you that you are reaching the point of burnout and need a break from whatever it is.
By the way, I wasn’t born knowing that a certain combination of sensations in my body = hunger/anger/sadness/etc. This was learned over time and with experience and with the help of my caregivers. Parents and those who work with young kids – remember that often when kids are “acting out,” they are experiencing a combination of body sensations internally that they have not yet learned to understand. This is why it is helpful to name feelings for children – they are still learning what different feelings feel like in their bodies. More on this in later posts.
So next time you find yourself experiencing a strong feeling – I challenge you to slow down and take the time to listen to what your body is trying to tell you. Try to identify the feeling without judgement – then try to think of a way to meet the need your body is bringing to your attention. This can look like eating if you are hungry, resting if you are tired, taking a break if you are too angry or anxious.
Where do you feel different emotions in your body? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!
Questions are always welcome.
Be well,
Taylor
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